(A day late…)
Where do I even start? Verses were popping out all over the place at me. I could probably write for days and not cover everything, so I’ll stick to the main thing that I learned from this book.
1:7 God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power, of love and of self-discipline.
I’m a shy person. (I know, you’re sitting there with your mouth hanging open right now, saying to yourself “She is? I never would have known that”!) I often think, well, I’m shy, that’s how God made me, that’s just who I am. It’s not! God has given me a spirit of power, not timidness. How often have I used shyness as an excuse not to do something, or not to say something to someone when I really know that I should? Too often. I’m starting to grow and stretch myself. At first just being behind the puppet stage was horrifying to me. That got easier. Doing the singing at AWANA? Terrified at first–now, it’s become just a natural part of what I do, and who I am–“the singing lady”. Last week brought doing the green meadow time for the Sparkies. Nervous? Oh yes, but not a “I’m so shy, I can’t possibly do this” kind of nervous, just the same nervousness that anyone would feel. I’m getting off track, sorry. The point that I’m trying to make is that by using being shy as an excuse for so many years, I’ve missed out on many opportunities to have God use me, and be blessed myself, by being used. This same “spirit of timidity” has also made me miss some opportunities in the past to tell others about my God. How can I not? Who knows if the opportunity that I miss to talk to them may be the last chance they ever have to hear the gospel?
I actually had an opportunity this week, and I didn’t let being shy (I’m starting to think that being shy is just a state of mind!) stop me. 2nd Timothy was getting to me!! I was talking with someone who told me that he is not interested in religion right now, and that I probably think that he’s a terrible person because he has questions. My lesson the night before with the Sparkies was about (Ironiclly? No way!) how we all have questions (even grown-ups!), and things that we don’t understand. And that’s okay. The key is in knowing where to find the answers and knowing that God cannot lie because He is God, and trusting that when He tells us that something will happen , we know that it will happen. (Off track again!) I invited him and his family out to church, and told him that of course I don’t think he’s a terrible person for having questions. That we all have questions and that I did a lesson with the kids about that just the night before. He ended the conversation by telling that he’s definitely not interested right now, but maybe when his kids are older…. And that’s okay. I don’t have to spend nights lying awake this time, berating myself because I didn’t say anything. I did my part and the seed has been planted. And who knows, maybe 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 years or even 20 years down the road when he starts searching, he’ll remember our conversation. And maybe even where our church is.
“Not a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of self-discipline.” It’s time for me to move past who I think I am, and allow God to make me who He wants me to be. It’s time to stop making excuses, and let God use me. It’s time!